Memories

I recently sat down and thought about the things in my life that are of true value. I made a mental list of what I thought was most valuable in my life, the things that made my time on earth worthwhile or meaningful. Of course there were many things that could compete for the top spots on that list and it was difficult for me to nominate a number one, but I can confidently say that if there was one thing that was a definite top contender it was simply this, “memories”.

Memories don’t get as much credit as they should in our lives considering the importance of the roles they play. They are our most loyal companions, they make us smile, laugh out loud and sometimes cry, they encourage us, keep us on our feet, teach us lessons and help us remember. When all is gone, the people, the promises, the relationships, the moments, we will still have memories to get us through. It is the smile on the widow’s lips, the tear in the lover’s eye, it is the wisdom in the counsel of the aged, it is caution in the adventurer’s step and it is the hope in the hearts of those who believe, because they have been there, they have felt and their memories tell them that it is possible.

If life is a journey then it is our memories that make the journey meaningful. When I look back at all the things that i have accumulated in my memory bank, both good and bad memories, all types of feelings surge through my being, and I can’t help but notice the glaring absence of one feeling, “regret”. Everything in life serves it’s purpose in moulding us. Yes there were bad times, but what has those bad times done to me other than make me stronger, wiser and more cautious. Yes those bad memories have served me well, and what about those sad ones? You mean the ones that have helped me realize that I should never take anyone or anything for granted, the ones that helped me see the fragility of life and relationships and how each day is a gift that will only come our way but once? Yup, those sad memories too have served me well. And should I even begin on the good ones? Those memories that are my constant companions, the ones that cheer me up, the ones that embarrass me because they make me smile to myself, the ones that will be with me long after everything is gone. Yes life is made of such moments.

My point? We spend a lot of our time making things for ourselves that won’t last, we want to make more money, we want to make good impressions, we want to make ourselves more famous, more visible, we want to make more money…did I already say that?  well, trust me, that’s what we spend most of our lives trying to make, yet at the end of the day the money can disappear, a single mistake or incident can overturn years of effort in creating a good impression for ourselves, fame will flee as quickly as it comes and all we will be left with are memories and they will stay with us until the curtains are drawn upon our lives and I’m sure they will be with us at the after party. So why don’t we put aside the mundane, the routine and instead start making memories, good memories, memories that will make us smile when the days are gloomy, memories that will give us strength to take that next step when we’re faced with challenges, memories of moments that though they may last for only a moment, they stay in our hearts forever. Create memories, with our loved ones, family and friends, because the world can take everything from us, but they will never be able to take away those special moments that will be ours forever…we call them memories.

To the dad who toils day in and out to ensure that there’s food on the table for your loved ones, yes you do what you do because of your love for your family, but the reality is, your wife and kids will not remember the number of days you worked tirelessly at your job, but they will remember that one day you decided to stay home and spend the day with the family, playing games, catching a movie together, taking your son on that fishing trip, being there to cheer your daughter on at her school sports event or concert, or simply going shopping. That will be a memory that that they will take with them to their graves and beyond. Do more than create a comfortable life for your family, create memories, for they last longer.

To the mom who labours with the required routine of daily life to ensure that your kids are fed, sent to their classes and have their homework done. Yes you are making a life for them, but truth said they may forget the meals you cooked or the number of times you drove them to school but they will treasure forever the time you spent laughing with them, playing with them, crying with them. Yes invest your time in activities that will become everlasting memories not only in your heart but in the hearts of your children.

To the child who now earns a living, who sends money to your mom or dad to show them you love and respect them, they may forget the amount of money you sent them but they will never forget the day their child visited and took them out for a nice lunch or dinner or even a holiday, trust me they will be talking about it for years to come, because what you did, did not just fulfil a responsibility, it created a fond memory that will remain in their hearts forever.

To those of you who slave at the offices or work places, five, six or even seven days a week because it makes your employers happy, because it grows your business, because it fills your bank account, if you knew your life was going to end tomorrow, what would be on your mind today? Would you be thinking about all those things you should have and could have done but didn’t do because you were too busy making money or pleasing your bosses? It isn’t too late, don’t end our lives with memories of things we didn’t do, but come to the end with a smile on your face as moments, faces and places flash through your mind, fond memories of a life well lived. If you have none as you read this, then it’s never too late to start creating some. Go on that holiday, take time off, spend it with that special someone, do something meaningful for someone else, go the extra mile, make an effort, for memories are made of these.

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Now What?

Now What? We’ve all asked ourselves that question at some point of our lives. Where do I go now? Which direction do I take? What decision should I make now? However you phrase it, it culminates from the mind drawing blanks as to the next course of action.
Where do I go from here? What path do I choose or take? Choosing means having options to consider and the problem is usually deciding on the best option, but what if there are no options, when you look ahead and all you see is darkness, nothing to light the path, not even a hint of a passage. It’s almost like facing a black wall in a room that is pitch dark. What do you do then?
Most people tend to seek advise from the wise who have traveled the path before or simply can advise or provide some form of illumination based on their experiences or knowledge. While doing this may help, it is only a part of the solution. We must also take into consideration human fallibility and realize that the ultimate responsibility for our decisions or directions lies entirely on our own selves. What then? What do I do when faced with this hurdle that blinds the way ahead. Here are 3 steps that can help us in situations like these.

1)Stop and Step Back
This isn’t the same as turn back or give up or run away. Stop and Step Back here simply means taking a step back to look at the chain of events or decisions or purpose that brought you to this point. What was your initial goal? What experience, emotion or ambition drove you in this direction? More often than not we normally start our journey with a clear idea of where we want to end up, with a clear view of the destination, but somehow, along the road we meet with numerous events, incidents or even additional tasks that work to slow us down, sidetrack us or even push us in another direction. After dealing with all these road blocks and speed bump’s on our journey we sometimes end up stopping and asking ourselves, what on earth was I doing here in the first place? Where was I going anyway?

You see, distractions in life or even the overloading of our schedules can easily pull us away from our initial plans and push us in a direction that we never planned to take in the first place, sometimes even without us realizing it.

When you face that wall, take a step back and do what pilot’s call a “mid-flight correction” that is to realign yourself with your initial goal or destination or purpose. Along our journey in life we will constantly be bombarded with things that take us away from our original purpose and plans, we need to look at these events, incidents or “urgencies” and if they do not contribute, benefit or push us towards our goals, purpose, calling or destiny, we must be bold enough to push it aside, say “no” or at the very least delegate it to someone else. This is essential to ensure we are not sabotaged along the way and this will help prevent us from getting lost or blinded along our path.

2) Stop and Ask for Directions
They say that if Columbus asked for directions he would have realized that he had landed in America and not India and maybe today the natives of America would not be called Indians. Like Columbus many of us want to be the masters of our destiny and we want to be able to say that we reached the top of the mountain or reached our goal purely on our own effort and determination. Another word for that is “pride”. Pride is a force that has tremendous destructive capabilities. Nations have gone to war because of pride, Kingdoms have been destroyed because of pride. Pride is also the reason why men are reluctant to go to his fellow man and say “I’m Lost”, “I don’t know what to do next” or simply, “can you help me please”.

Throughout history we read of the achievements of great men, but hidden between the lines are the lives of other men and women who helped these people reached those heights worthy of a mention in our history books and local legends. "No man is an Island" is more that just a overused cliché, it is a universal truth, someone once said, even the Lone Ranger had a sidekick called Tonto to assist and bail him out of the numerous problems he galloped into, therefore he wasn’t really the “Lone” Ranger as the name suggests.

While your destiny is solely yours and cannot be shared by or with anyone, we must also realize that we need people to help us reach our destiny. People who can come along side us and give us that much needed push, subtle nudge, encouragement or even that point in the right direction. Many times when we face that wall and look back we realize that one of the reasons we are at that wall is due to the fact that we never stopped and asked for directions, we never opened our hearts and minds to input from the hearts and minds of others.
Speaking or confiding with the right people along the way will most certainly help us remain focused or even deal with the hurdles along the way. People who have been there before, who are wiser and more experience can all help us keep away from that dead end that we can so easily run into.

3) Stop and Look to a Higher Power
We must come to the realization that our sense of destiny or purpose was put into our hearts by none other that God himself. The Bible says this in Eph 2:9 – “ we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them…”
“Prepared beforehand” simply means that we are pre-destined, our destinies have been determined and prepared by God. Walking our path knowing this truth will make our journey a lot more comfortable. When we realize that we are created by Him for a purpose determined by Him, we realize that He plays and active path in helping us reach that destiny. Though all that is visible is a lone shadow of a lonely traveler, our concern should not be in what is seen but in the Mighty God and all the resources of heaven that is not seen but available to that man who understands and embraces that truth. Sometimes, all the motivation in the world, nor all advise, nor all the reflecting, nor all the people in the world will be able to help you. You have to go to before God and surrender all that you are doing, surrender your agenda and just rest in His presence. There are times when only God can replenish and refresh you and set you off on the right path again.

Stop and Step Back, Stop and ask for Directions and Stop and Look to a Higher Power and we will find that the path ahead becomes a lot more clearer, and we will walk it focused and brimming with confidence.

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